the chipmunks: a heart story
by spin-doctor
Summary: “Because it’s one less person ending up like me, and one less baby with a crappy life.” So said Jeanette to Brittney after some recent events had happened; forcing her and alvin to come to reality. They were parents. STORY 2 IS UP: THE CHIPMUNKS II.
1. Chapter 1: the backstory

"Because it's one less person ending up like me, and one less baby with a crappy life."

So twas said on a cold winters morn from sister to sister; and from people to people; the words spreading out like fire.

Infact; their lives forever changed. I am Matt; and I will tell you this story.

Now after alvin and Brittney had had sex (GOD that word makes me shutter when I type it here); Alvin had settled down to watch the first episode of Reba. Now what he didn't know is; their life world be that; in a few short days.

"Hey Dave" said Britt the next day

"yeah?" asked Dave

"I think..." said Brittney, but dave cut her off

"ALVIN; WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"


	2. Chapter 2: ideas and switching of lives

"Ok; so I did it; what are you going to do? replace me with a hot Canadain male Humnan?" asked Alvin

"YES! A SOLUTION!" yelled Dave

So he did it, and with in an hour; a hot Canadain human male; Matt; had arrived; and Alvin was shipped off to Texas to live with Gibby's wife Kira and their son; Van.

(WILL ADD MORE LATER)


	3. Chapter 3: the real story

Soon Matt was not the only one who needed help. It also turned out that Fluffley and Peta (Gibby's kids from Carly; (more on her later!)) were trapped in the closet.

"AYEAYE!"said Fluffy

"I AM CONSTIPATED!" said Peta

"LIKE, LET'S WATCH THE NEW X RATED SPONGEBOB WEH?" said Fluffy

"IT'S EH YOU ASS! SPELLED EH AND PRONOUNCED A!" said Peta

BACK AT DAVE'S HOUSE....

"WTF? My child iks stuck with a molesting crazy man and his sexy children? AHHHHHHH! THIS SOUNBDS LIKE MANY STORIES I HAVE HERD!" screamed Dave

Alvin; luckally, had took a bus straight from, Gibby-the molester's house back to his house.

He opened the door.

"SON! THANK GOD YOU'RE HOME!" said Dave

"Let me guess... Gibby and Kira are molesters; and their children would have then strangled me; then had sex with my dead carcass?" said Alvin

"CORRECT!" said Dave

They both then walked back into the house.

"We saw... on the news... what the hell... WHO THE HELL IS MATT?" said Simon... But alvin said the last part

He started to beat Matt up.

"WHERE ARE MY RAPING CATS?" asked Alvin

Then the neighborhood cats raped Matt.

"DON'T! I'VE ALREADY HAD SEX WITH HER!" said Matt

"WHO THE HELL DID YOU DO IT WITH YOU BLOWJOB?" asked Alvin

"YOUR GF YOU ASS!"

Alvin reached for a gun.

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AN: sorry for not updating. I've been writing this chapter, and with school and all. It's be nice if you'd review.

MATT

THE AUTHOR


	4. Chapter 4

Alvin; by now; had fallen asleep.

"goodnight all." he said

The next moring; he awoke to the fact that the press finally knew about the suspoded situation.

"WHAT THE HELL CAN WE DO NOW?" asked Dave

"Move out of state? Move to Canada and live with Santa?" asked Alvin

"Too costly. And who wants to live in canada anyway?" askled Dave

"I think we should become the mansons of music!" said Matt's bra

"WHO THE HECK IS THAT?" asked Matt

"THE DEVILED BRA!" said Britt

"Hey! let's go on and read about ourselves! I call the M-rated fics... just not the slashes." said Alvin

"I CALL THE LESBIAN SLASHES!' said The bra

No one wanted the male slashes.

So then they read.

"HEY LOOK! THERE'S A BOY WHO'S TELLING OUR EVERY MOVE!" said Alvin

Everyone got on the story.

"HE EVEN TOLD OF THE KNOCK UP WEEKS BEFORE ANYONE!" said Simon

"I LIKE HIS SWEARING" said Theodore

"LOOK! it could be a weird idea. Or something more..." Alvin said

They discarded the idea.

So then after a wile of dave being knocked out (he hit his head after hearing about this story) and everyone jacking off, it was time for bed.

So then they all fell asleep.

What a perfect day.

---------------------------------

AN: 2UPDATES


	5. Chapter 5

AN: sorry for not updating. I am very bussy. IF YOU WOULD REVIEW IT WOULD BE AWESOME! FREE VIRTUAL FOOD IF YOU DO!

* * *

"ALVIN! SHUT UP! GLEE IS ON!" said Matt

"WHY SHOULD I?" asked Alvin

"BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO!" said Matt

Alvin punched Matt in the gut.

"I'LL GET YOU; YOU LITTLE SOB!"

"AHHH!"

"AND NOW: BACK TO GLEE: THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND (OR NOT)!" said the announcer

"STFU!" said MATT

Matt punched Alvin in the face; sriving the bone from his nose into his brain; as the red blood drips out; and covers his body; which bursts his equaliberum; and causes a massive reaction of the body- much like if he had OD'ED on heroin.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Dave yelled as he had run into the room

He then found that this "MATT" had something on his head.

He unmasked him.

Turns out it was Bernie Madoff.

"OH DAMN!" Bernie said

Matt then stumbled out of the closet.

"MATT! thank GOD you're ok!" said Britt

"I was reading a story some kid wrote! he said you peeps were all private slashing- evil gun slinging cussin' turds!" said Matt

"I LOVE THAT ONE!" said Theodore

They all LOL'd.

Little did they realize that Alvin- was dying.

But Matt then took a look down.

"dear god; get this boy some food. and some heat."

BRITT  
Over Here  
Oh, God--

ALVIN  
"Got A Light - I Know You - You're Shivering..."

THEODORE  
He's Been Beaten To His death

BRITT  
We Need Some Heat

ALVIN  
I'm Shivering

DAVE  
We Can Buy Some Wood And Something  
To Eat

MATT  
I'm Afraid She Needs More Than Heat

ALVIN  
I Heard That

JEANETTE  
Collins Will Call For A Doctor, Honey

ALVIN  
Don't Waste Your Money On Mimi, Me, Me

MATT

Hello-911?  
I'm On Hold

ALVIN  
Cold...Cold...Would You Light My Candle

BRITT  
Yes-We'll Oh God-Find A Candle

ALVIN  
I Should Tell You  
I Should Tell You

BRITT  
I Should Tell You  
I Should Tell You

ALVIN  
I Should Tell You  
Benny Wasn't Any--

BRITT  
SHHH-I Know

I Should Tell You Why I Left  
It Wasn't Cause I Didn't--

ALVIN  
I Know  
I Should Tell You

BRITT  
I Should Tell You

ALVIN  
I Should Tell You  
I Love You--

BRITT  
Who Do You Think You Are?  
Leaving Me Alone With My Guitar  
Hold On There's Something You  
Should Here  
It Isn't Much But It Took All Year

Matt knew that Rent would not help this chipmunk.

So he ran to his car. Which he had packed with many, many chipmunk DVD's. Which he started to play.

"this was... way back. When we used to save the world... the early years." said Matt

"I remember. oh god; has it been that long?" said Britt

"yup."

"E-V-I-L's ass was kicked." said Theodore

Britt then say that Alvin was dead.

"!"

They then all walked away to leave Alvin and Britt alone.


	6. Chapter 6: the realization of the times

After about nine months- Britt was ushed to the E.R. for an unrelated reason.

"it's christmas eve! I should be getting drunkl and having sex; not waiting for something to happen!" said Matt

"yeah so?" said Alvin

"it reminds me of a time... when I used to have friends who were crazy- a wife; kids; and a enemy. ah the days of old."

"hang on. weren't you the kid who nocked up Miley Cyrus then you proposed and she told you about that right after that on national tv with the world watching?" asked Thedore

"sorry. That's my real world counterpart."

"ok. so now I think we should tell them..." said a medical professional to another

The first entered.

"the baby. she's gone."

"what the hell?" asked Matt

"her name... was April."

"His girlfriend April Left a note saying "We've got AIDS" Before slitting her wrists in the bathroom." said Matt

"Jon."

"who?"

"Jon Larson!"

"How did we get here?  
How the hell...  
Pan left -- close on the steeple of the church  
How did I get here?  
How the hell...  
Christmas  
Christmas Eve -- last year  
How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot?  
How can a morning this mild be so raw?  
Why are entire years strewn  
On the cutting room floor of memory  
When single frames from one magic night  
Forever flicker in close-up  
On the 3D Imax of my mind  
That's poetic  
That's pathetic  
Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door  
And Collins choose that phone booth  
Back where Angel set up his drums  
Why did Maureen's equipment break down  
Why am I the witness  
And when I capture it on film  
Will it mean that it's the end  
And I'm alone" sang Matt

"Britt.. hope she's... if she's... oh god..."

Then someone entered.

"hello."

It just happened to be Anthony Rapp.

"hey!"

"hey man!"

"I herd on twitter."

"exactly like I posted."

(split screen: nerderlander and the E.R)

**MIMI**  
How long till next year?

**ROGER**  
Three and half minutes...

**MIMI**  
I'm giving up my vices  
I'm going back -- back to school  
Eviction or not  
This week's been so hot  
That long as I've got you  
I know I'll be cool

I couldn't crack the love code, dear  
'Til you made the lock on my heart explode  
It's gonna be a happy new year  
A happy new year

_(MARK enters the scene.)_

**MARK**  
Coast is clear  
You're supposed to be working  
That's for midnight  
Where are they?  
There isn't much time

**MIMI**  
Maybe they're dressing  
I mean what does one wear that's apropos  
For a party -- that's also a crime

_(MAUREEN enters wearing a skintight "cat burgular" suit and carrying a bag of potato chips.)_

**MAUREEN**  
Chips, anyone?

**MARK**  
You can take the girl out of Hicksville  
But you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl

**MAUREEN**  
My riot got you on TV  
I deserve a royalty

**MIMI**  
Be nice you two  
Or no god awful champagne

_(MAUREEN takes out a cellular phone and dials.)_

**MAUREEN**  
Don't mind if I do  
No luck?

**ROGER**  
Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain  
A total dead end

**MAUREEN**  
Just like my ex-girlfriend  
_(on cellular phone)  
_ Honey...?  
I know you're there ...  
Please pick up the phone  
Are you okay?  
It's not funny  
It's not fair  
How can I atone?  
Are you okay?  
I lose control  
But I can learn to behave  
Give me one more chance  
Let me be your slave

I'll kiss your Doc Martens  
Let me kiss your Doc Martens  
Your every wish I will obey

_(JOANNE enters)  
_  
**JOANNE**  
That might be okay  
Down girl  
Heel...stay  
I did a bit of research  
With my friends at legal aid  
Technically, you're squatters  
There's hope  
But just in case  
_(JOANNE whips out...)_

**MARK & JOANNE**  
Rope!

**MARK** _(pointing off)_  
We can hoist a line --

**JOANNE**  
To the fire escape --

**MARK**  
And tie off at...

**MARK & JOANNE**  
That bench!

**MAUREEN**  
I can't take them as chums

**JOANNE**  
Start hoisting...wench

_(All three cross upstage and attempt to throw up the length of rope over a plank. ROGER and MIMI are laughing and holding each other.)_

**ROGER**  
I think I should be laughing  
Yet I forget  
Forget how to begin  
I'm feeling something inside  
And yet I still can't decide  
If I should hide  
Or make a wide open grin  
Last week I wanted just to disappear  
My life was dust  
But now it just may be a happy new year  
A happy new year

_(COLLINS enters with ANGEL. COLLINS, dressed in black and wearing sunglasses, carries a bottle of champagne. ANGEL wears a plastic dress and blonde wig: a small blowtorch is slung over his shoulder.)  
_  
**COLLINS**  
Bond -- James Bond

**ANGEL**  
And Pussy Galore -- in person

**MIMI**  
Pussy -- you came prepared

**ANGEL**  
I was a boy scout once  
And a brownie  
'Til some brat got scared

**COLLINS** _(to MIMI)_  
Aha! Moneypenny -- my martini!

**MIMI**  
Will bad champagne do?

**ROGER**  
That's shaken -- not stirred

**COLLINS**  
Pussy -- the bolts

_(COLLINS takes a swig of champagne as ANGEL grabs the blowtorch.)_

**ANGEL**  
Just say the word!

_(ANGEL turns on the blowtorch.)_

**MIMI**  
Two minutes left to execute our plan

**COLLINS**  
Where's everyone else?

**ROGER**  
Playing Spiderman

**MARK**  
Ironic close up: tight  
On the phone machine's red light  
Once the Boho boys are gone  
The power mysteriously comes on

They then see another medical professional.

"she's gone."

They then walk out with tears streaming; screaming at god...

* * *

NOTE: I'd like a review or two telling me where to go next. I think only one or two more chapters before I gent in the next part of the saga: a rent crossover.


	7. Chapter 7: the end

The scene opens with a split screen: the day that was supposed to be rent's opening; April 29th 1996; RENT10; the last show at the nerderlander; and the funeral in the story.

**MIMI**  
Angel was one of my closest friends. It's right that it's Halloween, because it was her favorite holiday. I knew we'd hit it off from the moment we met. That skin head was bothering her, and she said she was more of a man than he'd ever be, and more of a woman than he'd ever get...

MATT

Brittney was... a great friend. I also knew Jonithian. I knew he was a great dude years ago. This is a time for all to reember. Remember Brittney Miller; Jon Larson; April Seville and all the world's fallen.

**MARK**  
...and then there was that time that he walked up to this group of tourists... and, they were petrified, because, a) they were obviously lost, and b) they had probably never spoken to a drag queen before in their lives...and he...she just offered to escort them out of Alphabet City, and then she let them take a picture with her, and then she said she'd help 'em find the Circle Line...

DAVE

It was not a mistake that I met them. Never said it; never will. and god; I'd die for them to come back. dear lord- do not let them perrish in hell.

**MAUREEN**  
...so much more original then any of us...you'd find an old table cloth on the street and make a dress...and next year, sure enough -- they'd be mass producing them at the Gap. You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends. But it was us, baby, who were the lucky ones.

ELEANORE

She was... more then my sister.. she was.. the best person I could have known. She died of a anortic anyerism yesterday; 9\23\09. dear god; please tell her; that babe- we were the lucky ones.

**COLLINS**\ALVIN  
Live in my house  
I'll be your shelter  
Just pay me back  
With one thousand kisses  
Be my lover  
And I'll cover you  
Open your door -- I'll be your tenant  
Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet  
But sweet kisses I've got to spare  
I'll be there -- I'll cover you  
I think they meant it  
When they said you can't buy love  
Now I know you can rent it  
A new lease you were, my love, on life  
All my life  
I've longed to discover  
Something as true  
As this is

_(The following is sung simultaneously.)_

**JOANNE & SOLOIST**  
So with a thousand sweet kisses  
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses  
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses  
I'll cover you iwht a thousand sweet kisses  
I'll cover you

**COLLINS**  
If you're cold and you're lonely  
You've got one nickel only  
When you're worn out and tired  
When your heart has expired

**COMPANY**  
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes  
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear  
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes  
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred -- measure a year  
Oh lover I'll cover you  
Oh lover I'll cover you

**COLLINS & COMPANY**  
Oh lover  
I'll cover you  
Oh lover

**COLLINS**  
I'll cover you

**COMPANY**  
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes  
Five hundred twenty-five thousand seasons of love

**COLLINS**  
I'll cover you

Then then left.

* * *

I know it closes nothing: but here is another coming up. I know what it is too- just not gonna tell you!

It will involve time; space; Matt; the munks; and Jon Larson.

MATT

the author


	8. Chapter 8: PREVIEW FOR BOOK II

CHAPTER 1: time...

He slowly walked up the stage. the world screamed. the peeps mooed. the world was waiting.

But that day; Matt had something to decide. rent; or friends.

He did not know that he wouldn't have eiather by the story's end.

The reader is wondering why did I tell them that. I told them that because they will want to know what happens- there for becoming a fan of my work and giving me more views!

"You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends. But it was us, baby, who were the lucky ones." said Alvin

It was true. Matt had gone off to replace Adam Pascal in rent; and they were all saddened. But a few days before; Brittney had died in child-birth.

Little did they know that Matt wouldn't ever do that.

"GUYS! GUYSZ! HELP! IT'S MATT! I'M STUCK IN A CLOSET! MY CLONE IS KILLING MEZ! HEEEEEEEELP!" said Matt on a voicemaill

"did thou eats the clones?"

"fa la la la la la la!"

"no room at the hoilday inn"

"I shoud tell you..."

"and it's beginning to"

"and it's beginning to"

"and it's beginning to"

"and it's beginng to...."

"SNOW!"

Then Matt noticed that he saw something.

Two bodies. A small chipmunk and a baby.

The first one looked like a friend and her kid who- WAIT! It was Britt and April.

Only problem. April wasn't dead. Matt had saw her just a few mins ago with his clone.

He also saw that they had lots of illegal narcotics!

"It looks like it's a trade off. her eggs for drugs..."

He knew what he had to do.

he quickly texted the code that he and his friends had set up.

"Raymer's got a brand new cross pile of turd"

(refering to William rayer- another chipmunk writer- and someone who I fell you should not read EVER)

"THE CODE!" said Alvin

He texted back.

"what is it?"

"your daughter\son are being forced to have sex with each other to produce chipmunk spawn for the black market in england!"

"dear god!" said Theodore

"call in TTTREFS."

"the gang? we broke up years ago after E-V-I-L finally died. I saw to it that I killed him myself and then stomped on his pompus ass!"

'ok- new plan. we go in and get her."

"deal."

So Matt broke out of the closet and went to tha airport. The munks as well.

* * *

AN: hope you liked the chapter. This is a follow up to the last book. Any Q's PM me. BTW; it's called CHIPMUNK STORIES II: THE STORY OF APRIL

MATT

the author

PS: this series is dedicated to my friends: Tal (lord narf); Joe (simonettefan); raven (raven child2); Jessee; and the rest of my friends over at the seville library. Thanks for beliveing in me. JESSEE; sorry man.

If any of you could give me tips or would like to collaberate; that'd be, as we say in boston, SICK!


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